Having fully satisfied and exhausted my worrywart tendencies with foreign news, a certain article caught my eye - “Cop Killer Apologizes Before Execution”.

Jonathan Moore, 32, repeatedly apologized to the officer’s widow as she stood next to the death chamber window. Moore was convicted of gunning down San Antonio Police Officer Fabian Dominguez, 29, when he interrupted Moore and two accomplices during the burglary of a house in the officer’s neighborhood.

He told her he wished her happiness.

I bit my lip hard as I looked at the undated photo of Mr. Moore. His eyes…they were just… empty. His statement, “I have disappointed and let down everyone who has ever loved me,” struck me. It’s sad really. At one point in his life, this man just gave up on himself and allowed himself to be corrupted. And I was shocked coz for a moment (or two), I empathized with him.

I know I have the tendency to take in the underdogs. It’s not my marshmallow heart, see. But in some way, I understand how he probably felt frustrated and then decided to just have it easy and fall through the cracks. Sometimes, life feels like you’re unclenching your fists inside an iceberg. And then you don’t feel like fighting anymore. Or even if you take action, it’s only for survival’s sake and you’re left a shell, devoid of any emotions.

Wasn’t there anyone who was able to reach out to him at all? Ah! How funny everything is, how easily we could affect people’s lives with our careless acts. I dearly wish I have never caused anyone much pain that they would have eyes like Mr. Moore’s.

Pagmaingay ako, tahimik ka.

Good.

Masaya ka naman e.