Mom theorized I maybe reaching another level in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. 

I wish I can be easily content like the others. I’m just too restless when it comes to learning I guess.  My lifeplans have been delayed enough. 

To those I will miss, well…I hope I don’t. Coz if we keep in touch, there’ll be no problem right? Take care still. And thanks. Really.

It’s funny, how I could mellow down on another matter though.  Not in vain, I hope.

Whenever my Kuya Aldo sets his brilliant mind to something, he definitely gets it.

My Kuya Aldo who is currently studying at the University of Singapore, has been invited to present his paper at the Australasian Postgraduate Philosophy Conference 2008. The APPC, which will be held on March 26 to 28, is hosted by the University of Sydney and invites students from all over the Australasia region to discuss their research with one other.

See details of my Kuya Aldo’s paper here –> http://www.conferences.arts.usyd.edu.au/viewabstract.php?id=803&cf=16

Kuya Aldo WE LOVE YOU and WE’RE SO PROUD OF YOU!

MUWAAAAAAH! HUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGZZZZZZZZ! ;->

I’m the type to give a dog a hefty chunk if he pushes the pity button long enough.

Mom got the early warning when I was a kid. She told me I’ve the habit of getting lost in bookstores. Inside National, the never-let-go-of-mom’s-hand-rule was often forgotten as I wandered dazed as if I was in some fairy land.

Maybe it’s the stubborn resolve to see things with rose-tinted glasses or the desperate hope of believing in the innate goodness of a person. Or hey, a good friend of mine would put it as just plain naivety.

Curiosity killed the cat Marisse. You’re on sabbatical remember?

Can anyone tell me… Are stars hard or soft?

As I can’t think of the proper words to describe our family’s pain these days, please take time to visit my Kuya Aldo’s Multiply page dedicated to the special person we lost, Tito Jay Carmelo.

http://dougs1879.multiply.com/photos/photo/23/1?

We thank all of those who have shown their support and sympathy to our family during this difficult time.

I gingerly touch the skin peeling off my right hand.

Silence is broken as I turn another page.

I look out. An ungodly hour.

My heart has wings.

You black hearted bitch.

Your classless gesture only shows your lack of professional ethics and downright disregard for people’s feelings. Your attempt to downplay the gravity of the situation only shows how guilty you are. You know you’re wrong.

And even if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, because everyone who cares about her, everyone who appreciates how committed she is with her duties and caring with the people she works with, everyone who sees her wake up way too early every day and bring that goddamn suitcase filled with paperwork at home, everyone who is aware that she extends regular hours and toils on weekends even, knows you sure as hell are.

Keep telling yourself you did the right thing, that you did it as properly and as professionally as possible. Maybe your shadow will convince itself and believe that gross lie someday. Personally, I’d like to beat you senseless with a phone.

Be thankful I’ve never met you. She’ll never allow me to be this vindictive of course. Be thankful that the person that you did this to is such a saint. In this life, I am proud to fight for her cause. If I forget everything she taught me, as young, inexperienced and obviously emotional I maybe am, I would have done everything in my power to hurt you. But then again, she would not have wanted that.

This blessed person would move on, rise from this pain and continue being the good person, dedicated and EFFICIENT worker that she is.  This gentle soul is above me in temperament and can shield herself from the ways of the morally depraved. She’s above all this muck you created. Most importantly and most definitely, she’s above you.

I dearly wish you have a sad Christmas, you sicko. 

But then again, you already lead a sad life, don’t you?

I am not anyone’s prey.

I am supposed to be your friend.

All good things…

Back in high school, I used to have this big crush on Prince William.  He just looks so polished and charming and stuff. 

So for those who knew me back then, it might come as a surprise when I say I think I’m liking Prince Harry more now. The emotions he shows in his pixes seems more genuine. Plus the way he smiles at Chelsey is so cute.

Hihi! Breather lang. => 

Is this stress?

Lately, I wake up feeling as if my heart has wings.

Good thing I was saved today from that uncomfortable sensation by the absolutely adorable Pamangkins Galore, Inc. The earthquake I surmised that’s happening, was actually the kiddos jumping on my bed and imploring me to play with them at the pool. I managed to convince myself that I still have a chance of a lazy holiday amidst the cacophony of “Am-ams”, “Tita palaro ng cellphones nyo!”, and “Tita pahingi ng Yakult!” I say yes to all requests. With half-closed eyes, I chucked out the following items from the cabinets: a handful of chocolates, a pack of jackfruit chips, a bag of sugar flowers, leftover cream of mushroom soup and well, practically anything edible I could find to feed the sugar and calorie-hungry kiddos. 

Thought everything was going great having finished laps with Mariah & Kean, played submarine with Kaela, and caught Nae Nae several times as she courageously dives belly first into the water. I closed my eyes while doing the backfloat and whispered the mantra “Don’t think about it. No deadlines. No responsibilities.”

I was resting in a corner when Papa arrived. He’d just accompanied Mom and Nanay for Nay’s check-up. I stared into the water and started making a list of things to do in my head. I snapped out of reverie when Lisa called out, observing my sudden silence. I looked up and played submarine again with Kaela.

Is it okay to say I’m worried for my namesake?

Is it okay to say to the world - friends, officemates, acquaintances, “I’m sorry, I’ve to conserve my energy for my circle and attend to them muna?”

Come tomorrow, I’ll have to lock the smile on my face again because someone’s always bound to make this stupid comment: “Buti pa si Marisse, walang pinoproblema!”

A confidant just asked me this evening, “Hanggang kelan mo bubuhatin ang pamilya mo?”

Hangga’t kaya.

And everything they stand for.

I’d give my arms, no my limbs, no, my SOUL, for all my loveones to be healthy forever and ever and ever.